foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize