just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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