I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sorry about my life...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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