Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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