if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
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No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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