I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize