it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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