Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
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recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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