I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
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well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
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Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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