she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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