remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And then my night got REAL pukey
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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