I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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