just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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