Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize