theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize