every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize