i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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