I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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