I feel like abortions should bother me more
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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