no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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