I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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