I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize