she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The air taste purple.
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