I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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