no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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