Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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