Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize