trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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