I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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