so explain again why im purple
no
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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