Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize