Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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