I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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