Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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