Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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