I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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