forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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