dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize