1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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