do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think your dad took our porno
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You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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