I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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