once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
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Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize