I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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