I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize