I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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