You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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