He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
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This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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