Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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