Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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