the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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